Ph.D. Edward Russell Cole
When first experiencing the prodromal symptoms of psychosis, I was under the impression that I was the subject of an experiment. The project was being conducted by a wealthy family who intended to improve my lifestyle. However, I soon concluded that those behind the intervention didn’t plan to help me. Instead, their pretense of aiding was a ploy to conceal ulterior motives. The intervention into my life was intended to bring about my demise. It was a drawnout operation that restricted the methods it used so that the project didn’t risk identification as the direct cause of my death. It relied on techniques for inflicting harm, such as inducting hypnosis and hypnotizing me to inadvertently injure myself. It strived to make me appear self-destructive, leaving in its aftermath only signs of my self-inflicted trauma. I resisted hypnosis for the first year of my psychotic episode by adhering to a strategy for self-preservation that was entirely defensively. Because of the peculiar, disembodied relationship that I had with my attackers; I couldn’t retaliate without risking greater damage to my wellbeing.
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