Jim William West
2017
Lunch break, and Mr. McDonalds’s Physics lab is almost full, mostly girls, an’ definitely no teachers. I’m standing behind the front bench, a fish-tank on the right, my trusty assistant John on the left. Grabbing a large goldfish from the tank, I stuff it in my mouth, and swallow. It’s wiggly and a somewhat gritty, but down she goes. Just takes concentration, and a little practice. The girls start screaming. A few break for the door. When things settle down we all leave. Seems nobody’s too keen on lunch. The next day, McDonald puts a sign on the fish-tank. Please Do Not Eat The Fish Just a minute. What really happened here? Nope, there was no slight of hand. The fish truly did go down, albeit with difficulty. However, we’d prepared carefully. Several days before I had a test run, ate a few, and knew I could do it. John went ‘round the school taking bets. The money was more or less an admission fee. I wonder why so many girls, and did they get their 50 cents worth? Gotta smile just thinking about it. Bloody outrageous! By the way, why didn’t someone confront me? The story must have shot ‘round the school. Probably too bizarre. Anyway, who’s going to go after a mentally deranged, physically handicapped, top-level student. No way.
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